Today's Frustration is brought to you by the "Wiffle Bat"

"The Wiffle Bat, kicking the crap out of people at high yellow speeds for years. Remember if you seek to beat the snot out of someone and do not wish to leave bruises look for the Wiffle Bat."

My friends and loved one's have asked for this frustration topic for sometime. "Why do movie audience continue to ruin movies?"

Everyone take a breath here, insert a silent colorful metaphor and we can continue. It has come to my attention and to the attention of those around me that it is becoming more and more difficult to sit through a movie today. It has also become difficult to even talk my friends into going to a movie since they despise the experience. The experience being the rest of the audience.

Time and time again I have had an Verfremdungseffekt (alienation effect for the non-Brechtians) when I attend a movie. Meaning no matter how much I am into the movie I am RIPPED out of my aesthetic distance to the cell phone jingle two rows down. There seems to be a huge lack of societal understanding when viewing a movie today. As I go through the list real quick see how many of these have happened to you:

• Kid's kicking the back of your chair


• Kid's talking through the movie


• Parents/Persons talking through the movie


• Cell Phone ringing


• People answering their cell phones and talking though the movie


• People arrive late and can't find a seat together so they walk up and down the theatre asking people to movie


• Baby crying at an R rated movie (seriously)


• People getting up to pee twenty-eight times and having to walk/scuttle by you every time (makes you wonder why the weak bladder people always sit in the middle and not on the end.)


• Ect.

When did we as a community of misfits trying to live together become such douche bags when viewing a movie together. I understand road rage and even bank line rage, but I see a new trend of movie theatre rage. This one is easy to spot, look for the guy/couple looking shaking their heads as they walk out of the theatre and continuously point or nod in the direction of other people walking out. With the progress of technology today we are quickly separating ourselves from the world around us. For most communities nation wide, the only time we actually come together and approach our neighbors home is during Halloween. Think about it, when was the last time you had dinner with your neighbors, or do you know every one's name and profession that lives around you. We have become isolated by our own doing. Yet when we go to a movie theatre or a playhouse we conscientiously take a journey together that actually shapes and changes our experience of what we are viewing.

Or so that use to be the case, now we actually judge the movie by how much crap we want to take when going. Meaning the movie has to be really really good, or specific to our interests that we would dare to venture out and watch it with other people. Even on the way to movie theatre we build in our minds the things we are to expect before we get there to sike ourselves up enough to watch it. With movies available online almost the same weekend they come out, and the super high definitions television and surround sound we rather spend a fortune to watch a film in the comfort of our own homes. If you have the finances to do so good for you, but if you are like me and are economically challenged the movie theatre is your only option.

I feel as if there should be a man or woman at the beginning of every movie that comes out and address the crowd. He/She should remind the audience to set their phone to vibrate (and not answer them during the movie), to stop ignoring their children during the movie and tell them that talking and kicking is rude, to suggest that babies or toddlers are not suitable for the R rated/Horror/Thriller movie we are about to watch, That discussing the movie after it is over is much wiser and better than during the film, and more importantly YOU ARE NOT IN YOUR LIVING ROOM so stop acting like it and be courteous to the people around you.

When you purchase tickets for the Theatre they tell you to be early. If you are not there when the film starts you lose your initial seat. If when you do arrive late (depending on the theatre) you are not allowed to enter during the performance, or someone escorts you in the theatre and seats you. If you are disruptive with a cell phone, wrapper, or talking they remove you from the theatre. Maybe we could learn some things from this. Where are those responsible for making sure we have a enjoyable viewing. I have been to a TON of movies and in my many discomforts of viewing most of them I have never seen anyone actually removed from the theatre. Apparently turning around or heavy sighs do not work anymore either F.Y.I. I have gone and spoken with management before and they may come in a look around but never do anything. Sometimes they will reimburse my tickets or give me free tickets. Which tells me in any case that we have heard your complaint and we will give you another opportunity to see how worse it can get.

I am not sure if there is going to every be a solution to this frustration, but with the rage growing out there it is only a matter of time until someone is shot over a bad movie experience. I plead with you out there to be aware of your surroundings and if not for two hours out of your day to give a damn about someone else. We understand that you bought your ticket and with that comes liberties. Just remember your liberties are only there until you begin to conflict with someone else's liberties. Meaning you can take your phone into a movie with you, but when it rings and you talk through the movie on it you just forfeited your ticket and should be removed.

*Side note: Yes your phone can be put on vibrate. ALL PHONES CAN! Your inability to figure out how to do so should mean you are not smart enough to have a cell phone in the first place. And texting during a film is just as annoying as talking on it since the room is supposed to be dark. Your personal night light should be left at home.*